So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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