If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
