hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
