dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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