Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Sober January is a disaster.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
BRING THE BAGELS
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator