its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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