I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
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