Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Da na na, na na naa

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  (571): I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background (202): Da na na, na na naa http://tfl.nu/9l4t
  Replies (35) Good night (3857) Bad night (658)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  My underwear smells like fireworks.

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  (801): My underwear smells like fireworks. http://tfl.nu/cuz7
  Replies (19) Good night (4865) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.

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  (215): Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf. http://tfl.nu/0na3
  Replies (61) Good night (28770) Bad night (1497)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.

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  (408): Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same. http://tfl.nu/sgs8
  Replies (41) Good night (6944) Bad night (1395)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?

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  (908): how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood? http://tfl.nu/72yq
  Replies (22) Good night (4249) Bad night (2024)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit

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  (301): and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit http://tfl.nu/fjd7
  Replies (8) Good night (4603) Bad night (1099)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time

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  (732): its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time http://tfl.nu/vuuh
  Replies (57) Good night (1212) Bad night (7901)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.

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  (613): Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/rte8
  Replies (1) Good night (2938) Bad night (1129)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids

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  (217): he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids http://tfl.nu/l2up
  Replies (12) Good night (1226) Bad night (4634)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later

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  (845): the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later http://tfl.nu/1207
  Replies (4) Good night (3662) Bad night (1448)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)

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  (818): Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now) http://tfl.nu/gh6j
  Replies (23) Good night (807) Bad night (1266)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.

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  (440): Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great. http://tfl.nu/fk00
  Replies (15) Good night (486) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.

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  (781): THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD. http://tfl.nu/meda
  Replies (6) Good night (799) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.

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  (630): I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them. http://tfl.nu/i0r0
  Replies (0) Good night (309) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight

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  (973): He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight http://tfl.nu/sjnp
  Replies (1) Good night (579) Bad night (390)

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