Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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