He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
