i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
