Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize