So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
