spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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