My liver just broke up with me...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
