You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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