i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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