i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
