you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
