I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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