yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
