shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
