If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
