i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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