I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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