i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
