Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
