She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
