I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
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