Already got asked if we're dating
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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