Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
How drunk are you?
Completed.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
