the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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