Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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