great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
