Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
