Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize