He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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