So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
