Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
