Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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