One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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