Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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