is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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