The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
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