So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
