Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
