I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
