I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
do herpes really smell.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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