i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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