You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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