Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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