don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
