Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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