Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
