I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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