worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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