And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
