I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
