Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he told me I talked like a deaf person
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
