I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
