That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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