butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
