My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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