he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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