Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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