apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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