I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
