Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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