I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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