conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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