you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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