I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
