how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
