Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
