I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
