don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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