Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
